“Behind every young child who believes in himself, there is a parent who believed first” Mathew Jacobson.

What do we understand about family? For many years, the concept of parenting and family, as well as their importance, has shifted across different eras and times. The importance of family to children is something that cannot be changed. However, this could be debatable and lead to constructive discussion.

One of these discussions is what if the child’s biological parents are unfit to raise their child? That is a legitimate question that deserves to be considered and well responded to. However, this is only when the family is going through a difficult time or when the child is better off without his biological parents. Although it is very hard for a child to live without parents, so this needs to be well studied and analyzed.

Your child’s primary sense of security comes from his or her family. They rely on you to provide for their basic needs such as shelter, food, and clothing. More than that, your child will find emotional security at home that he or she will not find anywhere else.

It is critical to understand what is best for your children. Many people will say, “Well, that’s an obvious thing, why do you even have to say it?” The only reason I’m mentioning the importance of knowing what’s best for your children is that many parents got it wrong.

Let me explain further. How often have you heard your father say, “I am your father, I know better?” As a parent, your life experience is not always sufficient to force your child to take the same steps you have. Parents may have lived a life where they were socially careful, and chose a path of life that led them to security and comfort. But, making your children follow the same path could affect their life negatively. How? 

TIME CHANGE

The fact that you and your child were raised in a completely different era, and given how the world has changed, should be a clear indication to both parents that traditional parenting methods may have disadvantages in modern times.

There was a time when children were taught from an early age to help their families survive. In the past, children were held accountable for things they should not have been. By the age of ten, they will be familiar with things that a teenager today would not be aware of. Because of how different life was then.

This may be normal for certain cultures and families, and it earns my respect. The purpose of these examples is to distinguish between older and modern methods of parenting and the impact of implementing them in modern times. Before you decide how to raise your children, consider the times when you were growing up versus the times of your children, where everything is completely different.

EVOLUTION OF TECHNOLOGY

Technology may be insignificant to some parents. It has no less of an impact on children than newspapers used to have on you. Newspapers were the only source of news, entertainment, and even gossip before television and the internet. With the advancement of technology, children now have access to a variety of devices. This has a different effect on their personality. Perhaps this will hurt children’s social skills development, relationships, health, and ability to concentrate.

However, as parents, we must always develop methods to limit our children’s access to technology. Limited access shouldn’t be to the level where they almost don’t use it. After all, if technology is kept under parental control, it can be very beneficial to the child. Some parents mix technology in general with technology’s negative effects, in ways that I find absurd. Children should use technology these days, having in mind that technology is present in every corner around them.

INTERNATIONAL SCHOOLING

Yes, International schools. I know the title confused you a little. There are expectations and rules in every culture that can guide the behaviors of individuals within that culture. Now, most of us have children who attend schools where students and teachers of various nationalities, right? Your child may be influenced by some of the norms of other students from a different cultural group. Is this a negative thing? No, it is your responsibility as a parent to figure out how your children will adapt to the different traditions, norms, and values of the other students. 

Your children are more likely to inquire about the reasons why the other students’ beliefs differ from their own. Why are they all dressed differently? Why are they speaking in another language? As a result, your preparation for these types of questions should be careful and deliberate. Children are smarter than you think. You were probably not in an international school at your time, so your parents were not concerned about preparing you for a cultural shock. The students were all from the same neighborhood and nationality. But things are different now, so your parenting methods should be different and more convenient for the present.

HOW TO POSITIVELY INFLUENCE OUR CHILDREN’S FUTURE

“Do you want to be a doctor?” No, I’d like him to be a pilot. But I believe it would be better for him to be an engineer.” WHY?
Why do you believe it is up to you, as parents, to decide what your children will become? What if you just let the child’s imagination guide him or her in deciding what he or she wants to be or do when they grow up?

Unfortunately, some parents have a limited imagination, which they somehow pass on to their children. Wanting a better future for your children does not necessarily mean making decisions for them. Allow them to become acquainted with the various educational options, but do not force them to choose what you prefer. When it comes to education and career choices, parents need to be understanding and open. Parents’ roles are limited to teaching and guiding their children on how to dream and work toward their goals.

Bregman and Killen (1999) discovered that teenagers valued parental influence and guidance in career choice and vocational development. Parents need to support and encourage their children to explore the many options available to them to find the best career fit. It is preferable to begin the discussion as soon as possible, rather than waiting until students are looking at CAO (Central Application Office) forms in the sixth year. Much of the preliminary discussion should have occurred well before this point. When the process begins early, there is less chance of making poor decisions. 

Parents should avoid ignoring their children’s ideas about their future careers. If they react negatively, the entire exploration process may be stopped. Parents must maintain open lines of communication with their children and encourage them to gather as much information as possible about their career interests. Parents must recognize that their role is simply to enhance their child’s career journey and that allowing a young person to make independent career choices marks a young person’s first real step into adulthood.

DEVELOPING TRUST WITH YOUR CHILD

Positive relationships between parents and children are essential for children’s development in all areas. Positive relationships with children are built on being present in the moment, spending quality time together, and developing trust. As your child grows and develops, so will your relationship with him or her. A positive parent-with-child relationship requires trust and respect.

Building trust with your child is critical in the early years. When your child realizes he or she can rely on you to meet their needs, they will feel more secure. This sense of safety and security encourages your children to explore the world. As your child grows older, trust and respect become more of a two-way street. In your relationship, you can cultivate trust and respect. 

To fulfill all of these requirements, you must find a suitable way to demonstrate to your children how important it is for you to see them succeed in life in their way. Failure to do so will result in a dispute in your relationship with him or her. It will be extremely difficult to repair or rebuild that relationship, and even attempting to do so may aggravate the situation and make it more complicated than before.