WHAT DOES NEGOTIATE MEAN?

Have you ever been in a situation you wished you could escape? Not knowing what to do to rectify or resolve the situation?

I believe we were all faced with a similar situation. I’ve been in a similar situation before, and it’s difficult to get out of it when there’s nothing you can do. However, there is always a way out of a bad situation. Negotiations.

What exactly is it?

Negotiation, in its most basic form, is the attempt to reach an agreement with a person or group of people. A solution that falls somewhere in the middle of a problem, matter, or situation. However, negotiation has a broader meaning than most people realize.

Negotiation experts will always advise you to keep a win-win situation in mind when negotiating with others. It is primarily to maintain a good relationship with whomever you are attempting to settle and reach an agreement with. Most of you will probably say, well, it’s a ruthless world. Why should I be merciful in my dealings with others? Don’t break a nerve in your head, relax.

Chris Voss is a former FBI negotiator who wrote a fantastic book about negotiating and its various styles. He suggests that you create win-win situations in your daily interactions to maintain a healthy relationship with your counterparts. Now, Chris’s previous job had situations where there was no room for a win-win situation, he mostly dealt with kidnappers. However, the negotiations that both you and I require are those that result in a win-win situation for both parties.

DIFFERENT STYLES OF NEGOTIATIONS

A person can use a variety of negotiating styles. And this is determined by your personality type. What suits you and goes with your temperament, your manner of speaking, how frequently you speak, and how you judge your counterparts?

These are the three different types of negotiators:

THE ANALYST 

I believe you can guess what it means from its name. Analyst negotiators believe they are realistic, well-prepared, and smarter than everyone else in the room. Aren’t they a little arrogant?

It’s good because it shows some confidence, which is crucial in negotiations. However, the impression they leave on others is that they are cold and distant. They are always trying to keep a healthy business relationship and maintain it as long as there are no conflicts. They are mostly known for working alone because they are skeptical by nature, but they are known for solving problems no matter how difficult they are.

THE ACCOMMODATOR

Other people see the type to be conversational and relationship-focused. While having a business negotiation with a counterpart, it is very important to them to maintain that relationship no matter what. If a conflict occurs, then they will look for a solution right away to save that connection with their opponents. They are seen by others to be friendly and talkative. Their main characteristics are being social, peace seekers, optimistic and poor time managers. Sounds like someone I know.

THE ASSERTIVE 

This is my favorite of the three. Here’s why. The assertive is always logical and straightforward. Many people may circle an idea or even an opinion before offering it, but not the assertive type. Whatever is in their heads will be on the table. They are emotional but aggressive at times. Not in the way that they will fist fight you, but in defending their points of view and ideas, if they are convinced of their superiority over their opponent. There is nothing more important in business relationships than mutual respect. And they always enjoy winning a negotiation. Perfecting a solution and making it sound classy doesn’t matter to them as much as getting it done. Click here for more details.

CAN WE USE NEGOTIATION IN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS?

While others are busy enjoying conflicts in their relationships, a lot of people have a more joyful and harmonious life. Because they’ve negotiated everything in their life so they can reach an agreement that serves both partners. We can negotiate in our relationships, not exactly as we may negotiate in a business meeting. But definitely with more care and extra emotions. You are dealing with your life partner here after all.

Think about the simplest things that can lead to an argument in a relationship, a lot right?

Now imagine sitting down and negotiating them with your partner, it sounds like you are already about to find a mutual understanding. 

You are required to negotiate every detail in your household. Like who prepares the meals? When should they be prepared? Who loads the dishwasher? What are we going to eat? Do we sit together with the kids? Should there be a meal time? Every one of these questions can be a war, if not discussed properly and negotiated. 

HOW TO HANDLE AND FACE NEGOTIATION CHALLENGES IN RELATIONSHIPS?

Negotiating in a relationship demands calmness, confidence, and patience. You can’t lose your cool all the time when trying to persuade a partner to do something. Of course, a partner can disagree, it happens to all of us. I’m sure it happened to you as well.

In this situation, you will undoubtedly need to employ exceptional negotiation tactics and skills.

Offering your partner something, such as an idea that will benefit both of you. A method for repairing a flaw in your relationship. Or even something as simple as deciding who will drive the car the next time you go out. Everything around you must be negotiated and discussed. If these issues have been left unanswered since the beginning, then good luck finding a peaceful life. 

Can we get into a fight because we didn’t discuss an important matter? Let me give you an example to help you visualize that situation. Assume you’ve gathered your friends for a football match against the next-door neighbors. Nobody talked about who plays where. What color T-shirt should we wear? Who is the team captain? And who will be held accountable for the substitutions? It will be a complete mess, right? If all of these questions remain unanswered and unsettled, it will be chaotic.

It is the same when it comes to personal relationships. The more you negotiate terms of living, needs, and plans, the greater stability your household will have.

WHAT ABOUT NEGOTIATIONS AT WORK?

Every workplace requires a comprehensive set of negotiating skills. Let us pause for a moment to consider this. Have you ever considered going to work and convincing your boss to give you a couple of days off? Of course, you have. After all, who hasn’t? Without even realizing it, you used negotiation to get your leave approved. Your manager most likely asked you, “Why should I give you what you want?” You gave him a reason and tricked your way to his approval, and it worked. Consider your negotiation styles and strategies to be more professional and advanced. WOW is the word that will come to mind after seeing where this will lead you.

It is a very satisfying feeling to successfully negotiate a situation that will benefit both you and your counterpart. At my job, I am constantly negotiating. I will constantly be confronted with new situations and people with new personalities. Many people may find it exhausting, and I don’t blame them. However, the only way to make these exhausting and provoking situations work for you is to try to find a common ground for both you and your counterpart.

I recently spoke with a passenger who refused to accept no for an answer. Although I had the right to continue saying no. Negotiating with this person was the only option that would result in better outcomes for both of us. Furthermore, he will have a more positive impression of me as a man and professional. I’ve mastered it. I don’t want to sound arrogant, but the way the situation was handled was phenomenal.

It all comes down to how you handle someone else’s rage. When the stakes are high and people lose their cool, you must seize the opportunity. Show who has the upper hand here, and indirectly inform everyone that I am in command. Improve your negotiating skills because you will need them in your daily interactions.